Are You Ready for Some Football?

Men and women see the world differently. Take football, for example. The game's lingo means different things to men than to women.

holding: to a man - grabbing onto an opposing player's jersey and not letting go
to a woman - asking the clerk to keep a dress behind the counter while you figure out how to pay for it

interference: to a man - hindering a player's ability to catch a ball
to a woman - why my cell phone won't work in the back of Target

touchdown: to a man - crossing the goal line, worth 6 points
to a woman - the moment the plane's wheels meet the ground in Jamaica

challenge: to a man - when the coach wants to referees to review a lousy call
to a woman - how to sneak your 50th pair of shoes into the house without your husband seeing them

kick-off: to a man - when the kicker kicks the ball to the opposing team
to a woman - sliding out of those heels after a long, hard day of shopping

return: to a man - the yards a receiver runs the ball back after a punt, kick-off, interception or fumble
to a woman - I knew I shouldn't have bought these pants in a size 6

fumble: to a man - when a player drops the ball
to a woman - what you have to do to find your car keys in the depths of your purse

punt: to a man - when the kicker kicks away the ball after your team fails to make 10 yards in 3 plays
to a woman - Go ask your father

referee: to a man - the man who makes sure the game is played by the rules
to a woman - standing between your children and telling them they will both go to bed without supper if they don't knock it off

face mask: to a man - the grid on the front of the helmet or grabbing an opposing player by said grid
to a woman - part of your child's Halloween costume

Happy football season and go Packers!

Can you redefine a few football terms?