Thursday, September 6, 2012
Are You Ready for Some Football?
Men and women see the world differently. Take football, for example. The game's lingo means different things to men than to women.
holding: to a man - grabbing onto an opposing player's jersey and not letting go
to a woman - asking the clerk to keep a dress behind the counter while you figure out how to pay for it
interference: to a man - hindering a player's ability to catch a ball
to a woman - why my cell phone won't work in the back of Target
touchdown: to a man - crossing the goal line, worth 6 points
to a woman - the moment the plane's wheels meet the ground in Jamaica
challenge: to a man - when the coach wants to referees to review a lousy call
to a woman - how to sneak your 50th pair of shoes into the house without your husband seeing them
kick-off: to a man - when the kicker kicks the ball to the opposing team
to a woman - sliding out of those heels after a long, hard day of shopping
return: to a man - the yards a receiver runs the ball back after a punt, kick-off, interception or fumble
to a woman - I knew I shouldn't have bought these pants in a size 6
fumble: to a man - when a player drops the ball
to a woman - what you have to do to find your car keys in the depths of your purse
punt: to a man - when the kicker kicks away the ball after your team fails to make 10 yards in 3 plays
to a woman - Go ask your father
referee: to a man - the man who makes sure the game is played by the rules
to a woman - standing between your children and telling them they will both go to bed without supper if they don't knock it off
face mask: to a man - the grid on the front of the helmet or grabbing an opposing player by said grid
to a woman - part of your child's Halloween costume
Happy football season and go Packers!
Can you redefine a few football terms?